Dinner with the Family

I had dinner this evening with an Indian host family whom I will be visiting with every Sunday evening. Around 5pm, they joined us at the ashram for tea and biscuits and after a hilarious round of introductions from all the host families – they took me home to their flat on the other side of the city.

Sangita, the mother of the family, was very excited to have me and gave me a tour of the apartment – introducing me to each nook and cranny and saying proudly, “and here is where we store our cleaning supplies.” Sangita is a self-defined housewife, but teaches Sunday school according to the tradition of Satya Sai Baba. She has a classroom in her home where the children come over for lessons. Two of her students even joined us for dinner, sitting holding hands on the couch, giggling at my English and then randomly interrupting to say, “one question madam! What holidays do you celebrate?”

Sangita asked me many questions about Judaism, most of which I was more or less ill-prepared to answer. Her Sai Baba guide book explains that the Jews are the “sons of Noah,” …was this true, she would ask? It felt nice to exchange ideas about religion and to know that she had a certain amount of appreciation for my tradition, as a religious person herself – though I wish I had more to share with her, and I wish I had been able to share it more meaningfully.

Once dinner was ready, Sangita’s brother – whom her son refers to as “chacha” came over. Not only does he speak fluent English, he is also a PhD in English literature with a particular love for Shakespearian drama. Oh, “And have you read the works of Bernard Shaw?” Later on, he told me he had trouble understanding my English because it wasn’t perfect, as Indian English is. Sangita followed up with, “It’s because your tongue is just too small.” …. thanks.

Sangita herself studied engineering, her husband trades stocks, her son is in college studying physics and the other son, fully fluent in English, Gujarati, and Hindi. Education in India is so highly valued and it just seems as though they’ve got the perfect set up to really get it right, so that the majority of people can successfully go as far as they desire with their education (did I mention that the uncle also has a law degree?) then can go on to have a job and still live a life that is meaningful and balanced. Women (in this level of society, in this city, and from a similar socio-economic background) can study just as men do, can have significant careers – but can also choose to take care of their family and either decision seems highly valued by society.

It’s true that this does not apply to the majority of women in India – but for those in this sort of up and coming middle class that is highly rising to the top, not only in India, but in the world – it seems that India’s very deliberate and unique blend of traditional values with access to up-to-date education can lead to a life that is successful, while still maintaining some existential significance. I think this is something we have not been able to really accomplish in America…