a sense of justice

Last night I was out looking for milk, walking the busy streets of Bhuj searching tirelessly for a single packet of milk, and without any luck. I must have checked four or five shops before I finally resigned to eating cereal dry, for dinner. I was annoyed, and frustrated. It's taken over a month to get a tank of propane on the black market, which will be hooked up to my stove for cooking. Now that I am settled in my home and an expert at buying vegetables, I would really like to begin cooking and make hot meals, but instead eat fruit, yogurt, or sandwiches in the evenings. I began the walk home, resigned, and tired, and a little mad at India. 

 I was crossing the street and all of a sudden heard a motorbike come to a screeching halt. I turned around and saw a small beggar child, of about 3 or 4 years, pull himself out from under the bike’s front tire, and begin to cry. He wasn’t badly hurt. It appeared that the bike had just rolled over his foot – there was no bleeding or sign of serious injury, but he was scared, and cried loudly above the noises of the street. No one stopped, no one turned to look. He is a child who begs for money, and in India, that often means he is no one’s responsibility.

 I was standing there frozen, turning in a circle, waiting to see others respond. I was shocked and didn’t know what to do. I had the impulse to run over to him, and in between his cries, during his deep wavering inhalations, I fought that first reaction. I felt like, this is not my country, this is not my culture, I am a stranger here…there’s nothing I can or should do. I felt like if I took any action, I would attract attention, send a wrong kind of message, or impose my values, my reactions onto a place that wasn’t mine.

The boy’s sister ran over. She saw me standing in the street looking concerned and used the opportunity to ask for money. She pointed at her brother, gestured bringing her hand to her mouth and then held it out to ask for money.  The whole situation made me sick, and I turned away and walked home, crying to myself.

Cultural relativism is important. So is being self-aware and self-critical. It’s important to think seriously about one’s role as an outsider in a community. But I think there are times where thinking prevents us from acting in an important situation. I should have helped that little boy. I know that he was okay, that his sister probably did what she could for him – and I recognize that perhaps the touch of a stranger would have been more startling than comforting to him at the moment.

But I can’t believe that I just stood there and watched him cry. If I had stopped to help him to his feet, if I had taken his hand and walked him to his sister, if I had helped them find their mother, if I had bought them some juice – I think I would have been acting more accordingly to my own principles. And these are principles I should practice in situations that call for help. Learning to assess what is important enough to suspend questions, suspend fear of judgment, or fear of being appropriate is difficult. It’s a hard balance to maintain. I think to have a strong sense of justice is good, but if you are too afraid or too hesitant to really live with that sense of justice, then I think it’s more or less useless.